Sometimes I want to be invisible

It seems easier that way, seeing everything around me but no one seeing me. I've been depressed since my aunt died just because she was the one I could run too when I was sad, scared or just wanted to talk. Usually I put on a happy face and just go with it. But on Monday my aunt brought out some toy cars and she told me to guess who gave them to my son. I thought it was my uncle who has a great grandson who is the same age as my son but before I could answer she said Milia which was my aunts name. She said when she found out I was having a boy she started saving cars for him so when he got older she could give them to him. Since then I've been on a downward spiral. Everything annoys me any little thing the kids do anger me. So now I sit up here in my room at my in-laws house crying. I just want my life to get back to normal.....why can't that happen??? Why can't my husband get a job in his career field. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Year

Well since I posted last time alot has changed. First off we moved from LC to EP, which makes me really sad because I really loved living in LC. But my husband graduated and we lost the house we were living in so unfortunately we had to move back to EP. Currently we are living between my moms house and his moms house because we cant make it on one income. It saddens me because I feel like I don't have my own space to do what I want to do. I feel like my life went from being perfect to being a teenager again. Oh well....maybe next post will be happier one.

Times Flies....

My son AJ turned 2 on the 20th of this month wow how time flies. It feels like just yesterday he was born now he's walking and talking and hitting and boy does he love to hit it's getting on my nerves. I took him for his 2 year check up on Monday and they told me that he has a heart murmur and they think he's autistic I don't think he is...I hope he isn't everyone that knows him doesn't see him at all in this way. So any way I'm off to watch tv for a little bit Ta Ta for now!!!

Testing ....

Testing to see if this app that I downloaded for my Droid works or not.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.1

3 years!!!

Three years ago on September 27th Jon and I got married in a small court wedding. The only people who were there was his mom and his grandma. Wow I can't believe we've made it this long! The way we fight and how jealous I am I didn't think it was gonna last a year let alone 3! Lol! I'm happy that we are still together. I hope we stay together for a long long time ha ha! Next month it's kind of a busy month in 2 weeks we have Disney on Ice!!! Yay! I love anything Disney so I hope Jon tries to get a job with ESPN ha ha! Then 2 weeks after that it's AJ's 2nd bday party wow time flies by so quickly I can't believe he's already 2 I can still remember the day he was born! My baby is growing so fast. Other than that I gotta go by lap top is about to die see you all next time.

Jon and I on our 3 yr anniversary! Love you babe!

What A Day!

My new haircut!

Wow this day started off with a bang and it just doesn't stop! So last night we checked our mail because I read on an email that CYFD was gonna start cutting families from the child assistance program so I wanted to see if we were being cut as well. So at 11 at night my husband goes out to check the mail he gets back and says nope nothing from CYFD but we did get something from the state of Wyoming. So in my head I'm jumping for joy nothing from CYFD but WAIT! What did he say something from Wyoming??? Why in the world would they have our address here unless someone gave it to them. He opens up the letter at it says that they are withholding money from him his checks for child support for Rowan, so the first question in my mind is can they pull from 2 states for the same child. So after freaking about not having any money left from his pay check we decide to go to bed. So first thing he does this morning is call Texas and they tell him they are still withholding from him his check and that his license is up for suspension if he doesn't send 2000 dollars  with in the next few days! 2000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoa! Wait! How! Yea thats what i was thinking! OMG, so  then he gets a hold of Wyoming they tell him that they are taking over the case and that we would be paying them directly now and that he doesn't have to give the 2000 right now, if Texas cooperates. Ahh....So I'm more then stressed right now and then we have gone so over budget this month it's not funny I swear.  All the money I had saved up for us moving in Jan is almost gone! What are we gonna do yea we have places to live but I got so used to living by myself it's gonna be hard to live with my parents or his parents again. Other than that I cut my hair this week and i like it! Its so much lighter now! Talk to you again later!

Sudden Stop

Sometimes life passes you by so quickly that you don't even notice things going on around you and then you hit a wall and it's like a sudden stop.  Thats how i feel right now, last night I found out that one of the girls I've known for about 18 yrs passed away.  It seemed so unreal and still does.  How can such a thing happen when you have children who need you.  All I can think about it is how would my kids survive if I wasn't here. I'm hoping her husband and family are stronger than mine would be and I hope they make it through this tough time! RIP Linda Steiner, forever you will be in my prayers!!!